Last night I was reading the Homestuck Epilogues when I finally got to Meat 16. Overall, it was a pretty good chapter -- I think that the Ultimate Dirk reveal at the end was awesome. But, I dunno, I just find myself feeling... unsatisfied about the direction he's headed in?
Of course, we still have time to see where the character is going, but I'm just posting my immediate thoughts.
Preface
Okay, another preface thing. Fun! No, but in all seriousness I first want to cover my thoughts on Dirk's character just to contextualize myself.
In his simplest, I'd say that he exemplifies that internalized toxic masculinity. Bottling himself up (& even becoming destructive to avoid letting the bottle open), likes to be STRONG, all that fun shit. But as a Prince of Heart, his goal is to overcome this and understand who Dirk really is. To consolidate himself and his fractured view of himself into one person.
I've always taken his splintering as a way of him piecing himself apart, laying out all the pieces so he can pick & choose. He isn't ever just Dirk, but rather he is this Dirk or that Dirk.
I think that his relationship with Jake lets him heal. He realizes that Jake loves him despite -- hell, maybe even partly because of -- what he thinks to be his flaws. Jake loves how much Dirk cares, even if he can be overbearing. Jake loves Dirk for Dirk, and when Dirk realizes this, he can begin to love who he is too.
Okay, so basically, Dirk's gotta consolidate all of his splinters & love himself as the big picture, yeah?
Ultimate Dirk/Epilogue Dirk
Oooh, dear. This is why my issues start to arise. You'd think that Ultimate Dirk would be a cool way to finish this arc -- Dirk merging with all of her versions, good & bad, and having to live with that. I think that's pretty cool! (If it wasn't just more of his Homestuck arc... honestly getting to see him grapple with something else would've been cool, too.)
'Cause, I mean, let's agree that most Dirks aren't great guys. I mean: Bro Strider. But, our Dirk is one who has recognized how easily he can just fall into being a shitty person, & then chooses not to. So, how would he grapple with realizing that the path of goodness is one barely any of his alternative selves bothered to explore?
Well, obviously he'd go down the same path!
Look, I understand that Dirk has a tendency to detach himself. But, isn't that what his relationship with Jake is for? Somebody that he can be himself with? I mean, even in Meat 15 we get some of this with Jake talking about Dirk's glasses and the brief moments he lets himself be intimate.
I don't think that Dirk falling back into being a shitty person is bad. No, I actually find it quite interesting! I mean, it could be that because he's the 1% of Dirks that don't suck, he kinda just gets... overpowered..? And the shittiness of every other Dirk takes over..?
It just feels so... weak to me. I understand the intention, but I wish it wasn't at the expense of his growth. I feel like Meat Dirk as a whole is like this. I understand he's always been a bit cold -- but I think it was also clear that he cared about other people. Here? I feel like he doesn't even care about Jake!
Of course we can all retreat into ourselves. But moving back to square one is just so annoying. I don't feel like he has a good enough reason to fully invert on himself. Yes, the Ultimate Self stuff is stressful, & I do think he'd handle it alone & distance himself from everybody. But, would that distancing not be done from a care for others? If it was just self-preservation I don't see why he'd bother making himself so distant again.
I'm kind of just ranting, so I'll leave it here. I love the idea of Ultimate Dirk. I love the idea of him regressing due to stress. I love the idea of him compulsively distancing himself from everybody. What I don't love is how that seems to come at the emotional core of his character: The struggle he has between how he cares for his friends, and his self-destructive tendencies. (Yes, I'm aware he's being self-destructive, but I feel like having him fall back into himself & then go all the way to 100 is just... a bit much..? I think I would prefer it had there been more build-up.)
Oh yeah, I would've also loved to actually gotten a chance to see his relationship with Dave grow. Oh well.
